Stepmom criticizes mom of 10 and 11-year-old for cooking food with frozen vegetables, gets offended when she tells her they prefer her food: 'I feed my kids a variety of things'

It's not easy to be a stepparent, not least when the real parent is still there to compete with.

In an ideal world, blended families would always be a situation where every adult is able to treat all others with kindness and respect. Unfortunately, it is not very often that it ends up that way. The reason that a family dynamic has ended up like this in the first place is often not the nicest story, and it often comes with its fair share of bitterness, jealousy, and resentment. Being able to navigate this maturely is a skill not shared by everyone.

As a result, those who co-parent with exes who are in new relationships or marriages can bring up some unexpected controversies. If someone has an issue with somebody else, there is every chance that they will use the kids as some kind of proxy for their neuroses, leaving those on the receiving end feeling stuck. It is hard to be civil to a person whose main ambition seems to be to upset you, but it has to be attempted nonetheless. The endless competition will likely get you nowhere, and it will not be good for any children involved.

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  • A mom stands at a kitchen table cutting tomatoes while her daughter sits next to her, eating salad
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A mom stands at a kitchen table cutting tomatoes while her daughter sits next to her, eating salad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • A mom was struggling with the behavior of her ex-husband's new wife, who had also been his affair partner when they were still married. She felt that this other woman was jealous of her, and this came out in issues surrounding the diet that she fed her children.

  • Am I wrong for insulting my ex-husband's wife when she tried telling me how to feed my kids?

    I'm a divorced mom with two kids (11 and 10). My ex-husband and I share custody of them. We communicate strictly through an app unless we're at the same event for our kids. His wife and I do not communicate period unless it's at an in person event for the
    via stressedaftmmom
  • kids and I do my best to keep communication with her to the absolute minimum. We deeply dislike each other and there's conflict with my ex and myself and with his wife and myself.
    via stressedaftmmom
  • The reason for this might not be relevant but for full disclosure. His wife was the other woman in our marriage. When I found out about it I kicked him out and filed for divorce. He started seeing her but tried to win me back. I let him believe it was possible and told
    via stressedaftmmom
  • him he needed to break up with her and cut all contact. He did this but then I told him I wasn't ever getting back with him. I told him I could never be with someone who behaved the way he had for over a year (that I know of). He never forgave me for that. She never
    via stressedaftmmom
  • forgave me for his willingness to leave her for me. It's something she never got over and she has told many people what happened in the years since. She has said she wants everyone to know how petty I was to try and destroy their relationship for shs and giggles. She forgave him though and they got back
    via stressedaftmmom
  • together and married. He has cheated on her twice and she blames me, of course. All of this should explain why I keep my distance whenever possible.
    via stressedaftmmom

  • The stepmom was big on fresh food and growing her own fruit and vegetables. Meanwhile, she judged the mom's decision to cook with frozen fruit and vegetables when she fed her 10 and 11-year-old kids. It was a fixation that she mentioned continuously.

  • The issues of late have been over food. I cook and feed my kids a big variety of things. But in order to save money and have less waste I buy frozen vegetables and for smoothies I buy frozen fruit as well. I really only buy some fresh fruit when it's something my kids and I eat vs drink. My ex-husband's wife has her
    via stressedftmmom
  • own garden and grows her own vegetables. She's very loud about fresh being best and how disgusting frozen vegetables are and how they're so much worse for you than fresh. She believes all the value is gone when something is frozen and I know this because she debates it with other parents.
    via stressedaftmmom
  • She has believed for a while now that her food is far superior to mine and that she is the better person in their lives because she feeds them fresh fruits and vegetables every single day and that nothing frozen is allowed in their house. Apparently there have been several times where she has asked my kids whose food they like better,
    via stressedaftmmom
  • hers or mine. They always say mine. They have told her they always finish the food I make and apparently they never finish the food she makes. It got under her skin the first time and has only buried itself deep under there the more she has asked. The kids told me
    via stressedaftmmom
  • about it a couple of times and they always made it clear she asked and they didn't just say it to be mean. She has confirmed it herself that she has asked and has at times followed up with but they eat so much of her food so they pointed out the difference.
    via stressedaftmmom
  • She's blaming this on the fact I'm feeding them frozen and for some reason she believes this makes them so much worse and she likened it to me feeding them McDonald's takeout or frozen pizza every night. She said it's the only thing that could explain the difference. She brought this up when we were left waiting to meet with my
    via stressedaftmmom
  • son's teacher. My ex was also present. The kids weren't present for this so I'm perfectly clear. But the more she ranted at me the funnier I found it. But then she told me I need to step up my mom game and start giving my kids real food and cut the frozen crop out. So I told her I didn't have to take any advice from her on how to feed my kids and I wouldn't take advice from a nutjob who
    via stressedaftmmom
  • thinks freezing a vegetable is somehow the exact same as McDonald's. I also implied she must be a kids have told her they prefer cook if the everything I make, which is what she claimed also.
    via stressedaftmmom
  • She and my ex told me I am not supposed to speak to her like that. After we finished with the teacher they demanded an apology but I just got into my car and left. He followed up through the app asking for an apology for his wife saying that my insults toward her were unjustified and were not acceptable in any way. I simply ignored it.
    via stressedaftmmom

  • She couldn't get over the fact that the children apparently preferred their mom's food over hers, and she took great offense when she was informed of that. Is there any way to be tactful with somebody who has this kind of vendetta, especially when it relates to your kids?

  • A mom sits at a kitchen table, cutting tomatoes while her daughter watches
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A mom sits at a kitchen table, cutting tomatoes while her daughter watches

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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